I asked no questions from you.
Because I did not want to hear your lies.
Because, at the end of the day, I still wanted to respect you.
Liar..
05 October 2009
Where the Bloody Hell Am I?
The perception of people, even your closest friends can be somewhat warped and so far from reality.
I allow just a handful of people to be my friends, to know me inside out. And when crunch time comes, I know they’d be there for me. To stand by me. To listen to my story first. Before they judge me.
Just goes to show how wrong I can be.
I allow just a handful of people to be my friends, to know me inside out. And when crunch time comes, I know they’d be there for me. To stand by me. To listen to my story first. Before they judge me.
Just goes to show how wrong I can be.
Patiently
I have learned… If nothing else, I have learned. The past has taught me all the lessons I could possibly need to prepare myself for the years to come. For the pain I have yet to endure, I have noone but myself to blame. I am aware, therefore, I accept. Or not.
I wait…
For the moment when I have to do what I dread doing the most. What I have been waiting for all my life.
Will I be prepared?
Will it be enough?
I wait…
For the moment when I have to do what I dread doing the most. What I have been waiting for all my life.
Will I be prepared?
Will it be enough?
“…..it should come from you”
When one expects too much, one often ends up in disappointment.
The hardest thing to accept is that expectations go hand in hand with trust and respect. And when one is shattered, the rest follows suit.
How does one rebuild one’s trust, or must one no longer trust and hold oneself away from hurt and disillusionment?
The hardest thing to accept is that expectations go hand in hand with trust and respect. And when one is shattered, the rest follows suit.
How does one rebuild one’s trust, or must one no longer trust and hold oneself away from hurt and disillusionment?
On Behalf Of… (Sentiments of the Consensus)
That’s right.
While you were out having the time of your life, we were working our asses off just so you’d look good in other people’s eyes.
And how do you show your appreciation?
Whose ass do you cover?
When something extraordinary has been accomplished, whose head do you pat?
To whom do you give credit?
The clock is ticking…..
However much you try to contain it,
Something’s gonna give.
It sure as hell wouldn’t be me.
I’ve had my turn.
Now it’s yours.
Are you ready? Are you even aware of what’s happening?
While you were out having the time of your life, we were working our asses off just so you’d look good in other people’s eyes.
And how do you show your appreciation?
Whose ass do you cover?
When something extraordinary has been accomplished, whose head do you pat?
To whom do you give credit?
The clock is ticking…..
However much you try to contain it,
Something’s gonna give.
It sure as hell wouldn’t be me.
I’ve had my turn.
Now it’s yours.
Are you ready? Are you even aware of what’s happening?
Compromise
I’m positively no longer the same person I was, and I’m afraid of the path I’m taking to be the person I want to be.
More importantly, I fear that I wouldn’t like the person I’ll be.
I realize now that even if you refuse to play the game, you find that you still lose.
I could elaborate, but I choose not to.
The more I elaborate, the deeper I might get into confusion.
It appears that there is no way I can get myself out of this but I will strive on.
Strive on, strive on, strive on.
And I’m not caring what other people feel about this; whether they understand my situation or not.
Right now, I can’t afford to care.
I have a life to find, and hopefully to live, you know.
And at this point of time, some emotions, some feelings are best ignored.
More importantly, I fear that I wouldn’t like the person I’ll be.
I realize now that even if you refuse to play the game, you find that you still lose.
I could elaborate, but I choose not to.
The more I elaborate, the deeper I might get into confusion.
It appears that there is no way I can get myself out of this but I will strive on.
Strive on, strive on, strive on.
And I’m not caring what other people feel about this; whether they understand my situation or not.
Right now, I can’t afford to care.
I have a life to find, and hopefully to live, you know.
And at this point of time, some emotions, some feelings are best ignored.
Give Me Migraines Anytime
How many times have I proven to myself that I can handle pressure? And yes, I may be crazy, but I do thrive on it, I actually demand that that one factor always be present in order for me to perform well. And if I can’t find it, tough luck, I’ll just have to make it up. And so I pressure myself, I push myself, I set higher goals for myself. Because achieving standard goals just makes me what? Belonging to the average group? Not really, because for me, that makes me a very lazy person - someone who would do what’s only expected of them, what they were told to.
I’ve always detested those who never aspire to be someone in their chosen fields. I mean, if you’re going to be a criminal, you’d better be one of the best damn criminals the world has ever seen, if not the best.
I don’t know what I’m driving at here, actually.
It’s just that all of a sudden, I feel so tired of what I’m doing but I can’t just leave. Something doesn’t feel right. No, a lot. But you keep on doing what you’re doing. Because you’re no longer a child. You are now acquainted with that thing - consideration. Oh, and a lot of other things as well - discretion, politics, hierarchy, and everything you’ve acquired while walking the road to maturity. If we could only shed them.
I’ve been having headaches for the past five days now. I didn’t want to call them migraines - they’re for sissies, for those who shy away from their responsibilities. But as days passed and my ‘headaches’ became so painful that they were making me throw up, I had to give in and change my views on migraines. I wasn’t that far gone to call myself a sissy.
Am I just biting off more than I could chew? Because the other conclusion is not really acceptable.
Burnout - I hate the word.
I’ve always detested those who never aspire to be someone in their chosen fields. I mean, if you’re going to be a criminal, you’d better be one of the best damn criminals the world has ever seen, if not the best.
I don’t know what I’m driving at here, actually.
It’s just that all of a sudden, I feel so tired of what I’m doing but I can’t just leave. Something doesn’t feel right. No, a lot. But you keep on doing what you’re doing. Because you’re no longer a child. You are now acquainted with that thing - consideration. Oh, and a lot of other things as well - discretion, politics, hierarchy, and everything you’ve acquired while walking the road to maturity. If we could only shed them.
I’ve been having headaches for the past five days now. I didn’t want to call them migraines - they’re for sissies, for those who shy away from their responsibilities. But as days passed and my ‘headaches’ became so painful that they were making me throw up, I had to give in and change my views on migraines. I wasn’t that far gone to call myself a sissy.
Am I just biting off more than I could chew? Because the other conclusion is not really acceptable.
Burnout - I hate the word.
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