Our Warrior Angel

WHAT: Chasters' Voice of Love
WHEN: 31 July, 2011 1:00 PM
WHERE: Golden Acres Home for the Aged


Chasters visited the elderly that day. Lots of food, dancing, singing, and laughter all around. We met a lot of Chasters, had our eyes opened and our hearts broken by the reality in Golden Acres, danced and sang with the elderly, attended a Thanksgiving mass, handed our donations over to the Golden Acres administration, and some of us extended our time together by going to the mall to buy a gift for a fellow Chaster, to check out the latest mobile phones and finally to buy groceries so we'd have something to eat when we get home. Before we parted ways, we even promised to go online for a few hours just so we'd know that each of us got home safe and sound. 


Six days later, on my sister's (Chaster name: earmitt) birthday, one of my Chaster brothers left - True Jianee.


Much has already been said about how much of a Chaster he was. 


To Chasters, he was a mentor, a friend, a brother. 


To others, he was a warrior. 


To me, he was all of that and more. 


He was also someone who I tested my wits on, someone who joined me (and sometimes cautioned me) in my "investigative" exploits. In the last private Plurk we had, we were investigating someone who was both following us on Twitter. I was alarmed by what I found out but he said everybody deserves to be given a chance. And even a second chance. That even if our hunch turns out to be true, a person can still change. So we agreed to understand more and judge less. And to dig deeper. 


There was nothing false about True Jianee - his name says it all.


I know he's happy where he is right now - he'd be able to witness all of Charice's gigs (not to mention he's got the best seat in the house now), monitor and moderate the crabs' attacks, and join all of the Chasters' get-togethers. He won't have a problem there, Kuya Uno will show him the ropes. Together, they'd teach the residents in heaven how to swag up.


Message to True Jianee: "Paloork!"

Gone Too Soon

Dear Bob,


Once, in your Citi life, you were part of Ave's team. But instead of being one of her "babies", you acted as their older brother - taking care of them, looking after them. When everyone else would be mouthing off excuses why they shouldn't be assigned to a certain task, you would be asking to be given that task.


As one of Ave's friends, I would often "barge" in on your team-building events - out-of-towns on your "weekends" and movie, videoke and food trips after work. And when the pressure was just too much, we'd make sure we have our lunch at the same time to regroup. I remember our "emergency lunches" - where everyone would offload, cry, rant and plan the next course of revenge action. But never did I hear you complain of your tasks nor add to someone else's worries. Your reactions would be to sigh. Then smile. A lot of times, we worried about you. Because you never could say no.


A few days before I left Citi, you smiled at me and asked me why I was leaving. And because you understood that my priority then was handing all my tasks/responsibilities over, you told me that it's alright not to answer - we'd have our chat later anyway. We never did. 


For months, you took on the toughest battle of your life. Without complain. And I know that you did it with that gentle smile of yours. You taught us so many things without uttering a single word.


You had your birthday last August 3. Two days later, I was woken up with a text message from Ave notifying me that you have left us. 


I miss you brother. 


But I know you're weary. You have fought well. 


Rest now.


One day, we'll have our chat.


But not too soon, alright?


Love,
Erline


P.S.
Remember Vigan. And bagnet. And your eval targets. As Yot/Sapphire would say, no surfing please.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Bob Michael Loyola San Miguel
August 3, 1976 - August 5, 2011

On May 10, 2011, past five in the morning, while preparing for work, Bob complained that he couldn't move his left foot. His brother then rushed him to the nearby hospital, San Juan de Dios Hospital. On the way, he vomited twice and had a seizure. At the hospital, he was given medicine for his very high blood pressure (280/120). He had a CT scan and the result showed that an aneurysm ruptured. He was confined for nine days (his condition deteriorating everyday) until the hospital advised the family that they had done everything they could and that they did not have the facilities needed. The hospital recommended that Bob be transferred to Makati Medical Center where everything he will need is there. The resident doctor did not guarantee that Bob could make it to the next hospital as he was in a very critical stage. On May 19, 2011, the family decided to transfer him immediately rather than watch him breathe his last breath. Transfer was successful. At MMC Emergency Room, he had a very hard time breathing. The family almost lost him, but he was revived. Neurosurgeon explained to the family and everyone in the Emergency Room all the procedures Bob would go through, all the pros and cons. He said Bob has a 30-50% chance of surviving and P1,000,000.00 will not be enough to cover everything. The family already made the first step of transferring him and decided to go on with the second, third, fourth etc…. He underwent CT Angiogram to know which part ruptured. He underwent coiling and it was successful. Ventriculostomy procedure was successful. Tracheostomy procedure was successful. He was showing good signs of recovering. After a few days when ventilator was removed, he was transferred from ICU to a regular private room. He showed more improvement after the transfer. He started to write from scribbles to his name to the name of his visitors, etc… Because of the hospital bill that grew bigger and bigger each day, Bob was transferred to a ward. There, he showed more improvements, catheter was removed, NGT was removed when he could already eat on his own; he was able to sit on a wheel chair with the help of his therapist; he stood up on the third and fourth day of his rehabilitation (with the help of two persons as he still couldn't do it on his own). He was cleared by all his specialists and was advised to go home. Hospital bill reached over P1.8M (professional fees of all the doctors excluded; less P370,000.00 – these funds came from all the people who love Bob – relatives, friends, officemates, friends of the family). He couldn't go home because of the huge to amount to be settled. On the dawn of July 09, 2011, he had a couple of seizures. He had a CT scan and the result showed that there was another ruptured aneurysm. Since the attack, he was unconscious. He underwent blood transfusion because hemoglobin count is decreasing. Neurosurgeon said he was back to zero and had to undergo every procedure he had. He said that the current bill will be doubled if we redo everything. Bob's father has just started a small business; mother is a housewife; eldest brother is not working; sister has a small business; two younger brothers are working but supporting their own families.

Self-Imposed Isolation

This past week was just too much for me.


I tried to socialize (even online) but I just couldn't get the energy, will and desire to do so. I didn't want to see anybody, to talk to anyone. When I wanted to be strong enough to smile, I was weak. So I hid myself from everyone. Even when I knew that there were people who would understand, I still isolated myself. I considered deleting my accounts in social networking sites. I left my phone unattended. The phone that brought me messages of Bob (August 5) and Sean's (August 6) passing. My brothers. Both warriors in their own silent ways.


We were supposed to celebrate Eme's birthday last August 6. Instead, we just stayed at home and drowned our thoughts in three liters of Coke.


I'm trying to get things back to normal. It's not easy. 


I guess writing about what I feel is a start.

Breaking My Rules

com•mit'•ment, noun

1.  a pledge or promise. 2. the act of committing. 3. the state of being committed.

Participating in voluntary social and community work is not foreign to me. The company I worked with fostered in us the value of taking an active role in making a difference in the communities where we work and live. So we would regularly reach out to and form relationships with nonprofit organizations, civic groups, educational institutions, and local governments representing the diverse nature of these communities. 


But every time I sign up, I make sure that the tasks assigned to me would be those that do not require me to interact directly with anybody. Running for a cause, tree-planting, house-building, and cleaning up the bay are perfect for me. Grunt work, yes, but it also means I do not have to talk to strangers. Or entertain them. Or exchange stories with them. 


This could be because I cannot tolerate mediocrity - I expect the best from the people around me. Or because I am not comfortable with weak and vulnerable people - I wouldn't know how to act around them. 


I knew, however, that I am about to break this rule of mine. 


I have, after all, committed myself to the Chasters' Voice of Love.


So before the event, I did my research in order to at least have an idea what to expect and what is expected from me. I became fast friends with Mr. Google and Ms. YouTube. Dapithapon, GMA NewsTV Channel 11 Reel Time's five-part documentary on the struggles of the Filipino elderly, opened my eyes and tugged at my heartstrings for days that I could not even string a few sentences together to blog about it. Now I can.

Last Sunday, I finally went to Golden Acres with the commitment to make a difference.


I vowed not to cry.

The Little Flag Bearer

Janela Lelis (12 years old), younger sister of a CAT Colors Officer, carries the Philippine flag to higher ground while Typhoon Juaning rages on. (Photo courtesy of Frank Pena Lorzano)

Patriotism in the midst of typhoons and floods. 

Mabuhay ang watawat ng Pilipinas! 

Mabuhay ka Binibining Lelis at maraming salamat.

Help Us Help The Elderly

Dear Chaster,

We understand that you have been interacting with our fellow Chasters for a long time now to discuss the love and admiration we have for Charice; however, we also understand that most of these interactions occur online. In our desire to bond more and fully share a Chaster’s love and warmth, some of us would reach out and decide to finally meet up with fellow Chasters in real life. Those meet-ups / gatherings usually happen before, during and after Charice’s gigs. And if schedules permit, Chasters organize a meet-up where we can party and have fun.

Recently, a lot of Chasters have been saying that our gatherings should not be just about partying and having fun. Instead, we can channel our energies and enthusiasm to more productive and community-conscious endeavors. And so it was suggested that we undertake a charity project. We call it the “Chasters’ Voice of Love” – because Charice’s deep and powerful voice binds us as Chasters and moves us to share our love.

On Sunday, 31 July 2011, we will be visiting the Golden Acres Home for the Aged to spend time with their elderly residents and hand over our donations in the hopes that we will be able to bring a smile to the faces of our lonely and abandoned elderly. In one of our communications with the Golden Acres staff, it was mentioned that they currently have more than a hundred residents. We hope to be able to spend time with all of them and would like to invite you to join us on that day.

How You Can Help:

• Be At The Event – Join us on Sunday, 31 July 2011 1:00-5:00 PM at Golden Acres Home for the Aged in Misamis St. Bago Bantay, Quezon City (Location Map) and help in:

1.     Entertaining the elderly.

2.     Preparing for the program.

3.     Distributing food to the elderly and volunteers .

4.     Clean-up.

• Donate – If you wish to send in / bring your donations, we recommend the following:

1.     Refer to the Wish List provided by Golden Acres.

2.     For cash donations, please coordinate with the Donation Committee members.

3.     You may also donate food / snacks for volunteers.

• Promote – You may provide the following to the appropriate committees:

1.     Your suggestions / ideas on how we can spread the word to the rest of the Chasters (Promotion / Communication / Documentation Committees). Your ideas will be posted/linked on the blog we have set up for this project.

2.     Your feedback on the conversations you’ll have with the elderly (Documentation Committee). We will collate your thoughts, learnings, recommendations and/or reactions to the experience you’ll have with the elderly in order to submit a comprehensive report / analysis to the Golden Acres, the organizers and to any Chaster who wish to be updated. Your insights will be a great help in gauging the success of our project and in pushing us to do more.

For your reference, we have listed below the blog sites where we will be giving you updates on and the different committee members and their respective emails:

Blogs:

• Chasters United
• For Quality Purposes,...

Committees:

• Communication: 
• ab.bonita - eybhiebonita@gmail.com
• beda026 - beda026@gmail.com
• kenji - kenji_jetrhow@yahoo.com
• Facilities & Physical Arrangement:
• Divina - dcolumbano@yahoo.com
• Carol - carol23_82@yahoo.com
• Registration:
• Leah - larubin23@yahoo.com
• Chastin - aluv_dolphins@yahoo.com
• Documentations: 
• Gemma - gemma_accounting@yahoo.com
• Ate Pin
• Tita Glo - ladygloveritas@yahoo.com
• Program:
• Carl10
• Tintol
• Promotion:
• Tita Glo - ladygloveritas@yahoo.com
• Food:
• Mena S. Calderon
• Donation:
• Divina - dcolumbano@yahoo.com
• Carol - carol23_82@yahoo.com
• Write-Ups:
• urdujalinea - urdujalinea@yahoo.com
• ab.bonita - eybhiebonita@gmail.com
• Video & Camera:
• Gemma - gemma_accounting@yahoo.com
• Ate Pin

Please don’t hesitate to contact any of us if you have any queries. We’ll be happy to help.

We hope to hear from you soon and look forward to your support.

Coming Out

So my sister and I have been fans of Charice for quite a while now and consider ourselves as Chasters but we've never attended any Chaster gathering or met up with any of them during Charice's concerts / appearances. 


Because we've met a lot of people who uncontrollably expresses their dislike for Charice, we've become experts in controlling our facial expressions, our hands, our words, and our emotions in order to come out as the better person in every encounter. 


What we weren't equipped for, is meeting someone with uncontrollable love for her. So we made sure we steered clear of that sort of person. And since there were two of us updating each other and feeding on our Chasterdom, the need to connect with another Chaster was not of immediate necessity.


Then came this charity project we believe in (Chasters' Voice of Love). Well, of course, in order to join and be a volunteer, it only makes sense that we show up, right? Yes, we could have just sent in cash donations electronically but some sadistic Chaster (I'm looking at you beda026) specifically included in the write-up that it is not encouraged to do so. And we were also invited to attend the final meeting of the project's committee members.


So my sister and I went out to meet up with them (1) to express and display our interest, support and commitment in said project and (2) to finally come out and meet Chasters in real life. For reason #1, we exchanged ideas, assigned tasks, and over all had a very productive day. As for the second reason, it wasn't what we've been dreading - meeting them felt natural, as if we were just waiting to meet, as if we've been friends for a long time.


And so the story of our self-imposed Chaster-seclusion ends. Unfortunately, not in a happily-ever-after fashion. Haha! Because now we've got tasks to complete which we haven't even started on yet. Manager better cut us some slack (notice the blog post time below). Those tasks require brain usage after all.


Hah! And now I had to go on plurk and sign up. The things I learn as a Chaster. My karma better go up. =P

Chasters' Voice of Love Project

We live in a world where everything and everyone is interconnected. By love. What we do, or what we do not do, affects all things and all beings. And if we know that we can make a difference, however small that difference is, shouldn't we do it? Especially if making that difference only entails a small portion of our resources?


The Chasters believe in making a difference. And so this month, we have decided to pool in our resources in order to bring a smile to those who have come before us, to those whose only companions are their memories - some of them no longer even have the luxury of remembering - our elderly.


For most of us younger Chasters, we fear the thought of being old and lonely. Some of us do not even entertain the thought. But for the hundreds of people residing at Golden Acres Home for the Aged, being old and lonely is their reality. 


It is not uncommon for them to go for an entire month without speaking to family - or to anyone for that matter. On the other hand, we are able to interact with our loved ones on a daily basis that we sometimes take it for granted. We have been blessed to listen to the voice that unites us. The only voice they hear is their own. 

I have learned that there is no substitute for human warmth. Something as simple as listening to an older person's fond memories or just by sitting with them for a moment can have a lasting effect. We hope that this project will ensure that our elderly will no longer feel abandoned by society. 


We are appealing to all the Chasters out there to join us in our "Chasters' Voice of Love" project on 31 July 2011 at Golden Acres Home for the Aged. Your support is greatly appreciated. 


For details on how you can help, please contact:
ab.bonita - eybhiebonita@gmail.com
beda026 - beda026@gmail.com
kenji - kenji_jetrhow@yahoo.com


Please visit Chasters United's blog for full details of this project.

Satisfaction Rating

After three months of unemployment, I still haven't received my Final Pay. 


One of the reasons was that I just couldn't be bothered to chase after it. Translation: I still got some moolah so I'm not too bothered. 


Another reason, which got me in a snit, is my previous employer's payroll department. Attached with the Exit Clearance Form I completed was the note stating that my Final Pay will be released within thirty days of submitting the completed Exit Clearance Form. However, the lady who received the form gave me an inch-wide strip of paper with a name and phone number of a person. When asked what the purpose of the paper-strip was, she kindly advised me to contact that person after thirty days to follow up on when I can get my hard-earned money and clearance papers. 


Thirty days later, I called that land-line number like the good little girl that I don't pretend to be. Yes, it rang. And rang. And rang. I stayed on the line. For ten minutes. It still rang. I must point out that I'm using my mobile phone. And because I believe in not passing judgment on just one encounter, I gave it another shot. Refer to the first eight sentences of this paragraph (yes, I counted 'em). You get the picture.


So I went online and fired off an email to their department. Then called again. I was able to get through this time. The lady did not even provide me with her name and placed me on hold for three minutes. She then came back and told me that, since "the process" (she stressed these words as if they are very important and that only the elite are allowed to utter them) takes thirty days, she will have my request "expedited" (same stress as "the process"). Oh, and that I need to call back the next day to check when I can finally claim the money that is rightfully mine. I had to ask the lady what was taking up so long. She replied that it needs to be "computed". I have no idea what they were doing for the past thirty days if they are just getting on the computing stage. Or maybe it takes more than thirty days for them to compute. I don't know. I don't know.


The next day, I received an email response from them. I was advised that I have to wait for five working days for my request to be addressed. And that they have found that I have a social security loan balance so this will need to be deducted as well. I was also asked to furnish them with a contact number. So I did. 


And of course, since I was also asked by the lady who cannot be named to call her back on that day, I did. She told me not call back since my request is already being "processed" and that she will contact me instead. When I provided her with a mobile phone number and advised that I will be coming from Bulacan, she very kindly advised that calling a mobile phone number is costly so she prefers it if I can provide a land-line number instead. I'm sure I'm aware how costly it is - I've been calling them through my mobile phone, have I not? Oh, and before the call ended, that's when she finally deigned to get my name and phone number. The lady is clairvoyant.


This is one of the times when all the fond memories I have about the company I worked with, when all the friendships I've formed while there and when all other positive stuff about it gets overshadowed by an experience. 


I felt as if I was a customer contacting a call center expecting to have her questions answered but instead was lied to, interrupted, insulted, made to feel as if I was not worthy of the agent's time and handed off to another department. 


Now I understand why some customers no longer ask to speak to a manager. Because they no longer trust that their concerns will be addressed. Because they are no longer interested in doing business with that business. 

Status Update

Today, I finally updated my employer details on FB - by unticking the "I currently work here" box and inputting the month and year of my stay at Citi. 

Didn't realise that it would look like this on my wall:

I wish it didn't look so impersonal. Because for five years, that was my life. I was defined by my position, by the company I worked with - how I deal with people outside work, how I expect the best from everyone, especially myself, even how I talk and write (notice the s and z).

It WAS personal to me. 

I guess I just want to say that it wasn't that easy to leave.


If this is how it feels to break away from my job, I don't want to dwell on the emotions I will be subjected to should I ever dare to enter a romantic relationship and ultimately break it off.

Sleeping Patterns

I was supposed to wake my sister up at 7:20pm so she can take her meds but I fell asleep, too! My greedy tummy was growling at me and woke me up at 2:20am. 

Darkness, all alone in the moonligggght. 

I felt like a burglar rummaging for food and all I got (that can easily be wolfed down) were grape-flavored gelatine and 1.5 L of Coke. 

Still don't know if Eme was able to take her meds. She's still sleeping. 

I'm the bestest big sister in the world!

What I Took For Granted

I chanced upon Burma's International Travel Information today. So online access is very expensive and limited there.

Computers, Internet, and Email: The military regime carefully controls and monitors all Internet use in Burma and restricts Internet access through software-based censorship that limits the materials individuals can access online. The government has allowed cyber cafes to open, but access to the Internet is very expensive, and access to most “free” international e-mail services such as Hotmail and Yahoo is prohibited. Currently, Gmail (Google mail) accounts can be accessed in Burma, and many locals and resident expatriates use it. It is illegal to own an unregistered modem in Burma. You may bring one laptop computer into Burma but must declare it upon arrival. Limited email service is available at some large hotels. All emails are subject to monitoring by Burmese security services. It is very expensive to send photographs via email. One foreign visitor was presented a bill for $2,000 after transmitting one photograph via a major hotel's e-mail system. During September and October 2007, the military government disconnected all internet access across the country for extended periods of time. 

The good thing about it is if I am going to visit the country, I won't be tempted to check my email and will be purely taking in the country's sights, sounds and culture. I hope I'll be allowed to take pictures though so I can share my experiences back home.

Then I dream of the day when the entire world is a free wifi zone.

First Day Off

So before I went to sleep last night, I turned my weekday alarm off because even though the next day is Friday, I no longer have to wake up at 4:00am. Well, I do wake up at that time but promptly go back to sleep for a half an hour more before getting ready for work. =) 

I have to remind myself that I have resigned/retired from my job!

And yesterday was awesome! As what I blogged about yesterday, I sent my out-of-office message as my farewell. And received a lot of "good lucks" and "thank yous." And even if I had already turned over my functions, I just could not resist handling a disputes case and following up on last month's complaints. Then when I was about to hand over my team's documents to my manager, Kristy invited me to join their team huddle. So I went with them and found that the rest of the department was there. They started clapping and singing the Happy Birthday song. Haha. And there was food! Chocolate cake that says, "Break a leg Erlyn!" 
Took pictures of my team. A few of them made speeches. Everyone was smiling. Someone started teasing Ryan and I knew he's starting to get offended. So I stood up and made my impromptu speech. I cried. I wish I had time to prepare.


So I woke up at 8:20am today. And my dreams were about Gucci, who was one of my Quality Officers. I guess, subconsciously, I'm still worrying about my team.

Checked my sister if her fever has gone down/returned, did my morning toilet ritual, then went downstairs for breakfast. 

Let's see how my day goes.

Out Of Office Message

Today, I left the one place I spent most of the last five years (not counting my home): my work.

And like a good little team manager, I made sure I have turned over all of my functions before leaving and sent an Out Of Office Plan. 

Hi Everyone,

Today is my last reporting day at Citi.


After more than five years of Citi life, the thought of leaving is indeed a sin - I may be perfect (I am Quality, after all) but I am also human.
Coming back though is a temptation. Again, I am human. Let's see how long I can resist. =)
After all, one must leave before one can come back. And I hope that when if that happens, it will feel like I never left.

Thank you very much for the opportunity of having worked with a great team, and for the knowledge I have acquired from all of you.
Please extend the same cooperation and support to the people who are temporarily taking over my functions, and to the person who will permanently replace me as the Quality Team Leader.

In closing, I say what I (and my closest friends) have always said (out of my CEO's earshot, of course):


Citi stole my youth.


And gave me wisdom. And friends. And helped me pay the bills. Not necessarily in that order.
Not a bad bargain, I'd say. Not bad at all.

I'm sad. And scared. But touched. A little lost. And excited.