Our Warrior Angel

WHAT: Chasters' Voice of Love
WHEN: 31 July, 2011 1:00 PM
WHERE: Golden Acres Home for the Aged


Chasters visited the elderly that day. Lots of food, dancing, singing, and laughter all around. We met a lot of Chasters, had our eyes opened and our hearts broken by the reality in Golden Acres, danced and sang with the elderly, attended a Thanksgiving mass, handed our donations over to the Golden Acres administration, and some of us extended our time together by going to the mall to buy a gift for a fellow Chaster, to check out the latest mobile phones and finally to buy groceries so we'd have something to eat when we get home. Before we parted ways, we even promised to go online for a few hours just so we'd know that each of us got home safe and sound. 


Six days later, on my sister's (Chaster name: earmitt) birthday, one of my Chaster brothers left - True Jianee.


Much has already been said about how much of a Chaster he was. 


To Chasters, he was a mentor, a friend, a brother. 


To others, he was a warrior. 


To me, he was all of that and more. 


He was also someone who I tested my wits on, someone who joined me (and sometimes cautioned me) in my "investigative" exploits. In the last private Plurk we had, we were investigating someone who was both following us on Twitter. I was alarmed by what I found out but he said everybody deserves to be given a chance. And even a second chance. That even if our hunch turns out to be true, a person can still change. So we agreed to understand more and judge less. And to dig deeper. 


There was nothing false about True Jianee - his name says it all.


I know he's happy where he is right now - he'd be able to witness all of Charice's gigs (not to mention he's got the best seat in the house now), monitor and moderate the crabs' attacks, and join all of the Chasters' get-togethers. He won't have a problem there, Kuya Uno will show him the ropes. Together, they'd teach the residents in heaven how to swag up.


Message to True Jianee: "Paloork!"

Gone Too Soon

Dear Bob,


Once, in your Citi life, you were part of Ave's team. But instead of being one of her "babies", you acted as their older brother - taking care of them, looking after them. When everyone else would be mouthing off excuses why they shouldn't be assigned to a certain task, you would be asking to be given that task.


As one of Ave's friends, I would often "barge" in on your team-building events - out-of-towns on your "weekends" and movie, videoke and food trips after work. And when the pressure was just too much, we'd make sure we have our lunch at the same time to regroup. I remember our "emergency lunches" - where everyone would offload, cry, rant and plan the next course of revenge action. But never did I hear you complain of your tasks nor add to someone else's worries. Your reactions would be to sigh. Then smile. A lot of times, we worried about you. Because you never could say no.


A few days before I left Citi, you smiled at me and asked me why I was leaving. And because you understood that my priority then was handing all my tasks/responsibilities over, you told me that it's alright not to answer - we'd have our chat later anyway. We never did. 


For months, you took on the toughest battle of your life. Without complain. And I know that you did it with that gentle smile of yours. You taught us so many things without uttering a single word.


You had your birthday last August 3. Two days later, I was woken up with a text message from Ave notifying me that you have left us. 


I miss you brother. 


But I know you're weary. You have fought well. 


Rest now.


One day, we'll have our chat.


But not too soon, alright?


Love,
Erline


P.S.
Remember Vigan. And bagnet. And your eval targets. As Yot/Sapphire would say, no surfing please.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Bob Michael Loyola San Miguel
August 3, 1976 - August 5, 2011

On May 10, 2011, past five in the morning, while preparing for work, Bob complained that he couldn't move his left foot. His brother then rushed him to the nearby hospital, San Juan de Dios Hospital. On the way, he vomited twice and had a seizure. At the hospital, he was given medicine for his very high blood pressure (280/120). He had a CT scan and the result showed that an aneurysm ruptured. He was confined for nine days (his condition deteriorating everyday) until the hospital advised the family that they had done everything they could and that they did not have the facilities needed. The hospital recommended that Bob be transferred to Makati Medical Center where everything he will need is there. The resident doctor did not guarantee that Bob could make it to the next hospital as he was in a very critical stage. On May 19, 2011, the family decided to transfer him immediately rather than watch him breathe his last breath. Transfer was successful. At MMC Emergency Room, he had a very hard time breathing. The family almost lost him, but he was revived. Neurosurgeon explained to the family and everyone in the Emergency Room all the procedures Bob would go through, all the pros and cons. He said Bob has a 30-50% chance of surviving and P1,000,000.00 will not be enough to cover everything. The family already made the first step of transferring him and decided to go on with the second, third, fourth etc…. He underwent CT Angiogram to know which part ruptured. He underwent coiling and it was successful. Ventriculostomy procedure was successful. Tracheostomy procedure was successful. He was showing good signs of recovering. After a few days when ventilator was removed, he was transferred from ICU to a regular private room. He showed more improvement after the transfer. He started to write from scribbles to his name to the name of his visitors, etc… Because of the hospital bill that grew bigger and bigger each day, Bob was transferred to a ward. There, he showed more improvements, catheter was removed, NGT was removed when he could already eat on his own; he was able to sit on a wheel chair with the help of his therapist; he stood up on the third and fourth day of his rehabilitation (with the help of two persons as he still couldn't do it on his own). He was cleared by all his specialists and was advised to go home. Hospital bill reached over P1.8M (professional fees of all the doctors excluded; less P370,000.00 – these funds came from all the people who love Bob – relatives, friends, officemates, friends of the family). He couldn't go home because of the huge to amount to be settled. On the dawn of July 09, 2011, he had a couple of seizures. He had a CT scan and the result showed that there was another ruptured aneurysm. Since the attack, he was unconscious. He underwent blood transfusion because hemoglobin count is decreasing. Neurosurgeon said he was back to zero and had to undergo every procedure he had. He said that the current bill will be doubled if we redo everything. Bob's father has just started a small business; mother is a housewife; eldest brother is not working; sister has a small business; two younger brothers are working but supporting their own families.

Self-Imposed Isolation

This past week was just too much for me.


I tried to socialize (even online) but I just couldn't get the energy, will and desire to do so. I didn't want to see anybody, to talk to anyone. When I wanted to be strong enough to smile, I was weak. So I hid myself from everyone. Even when I knew that there were people who would understand, I still isolated myself. I considered deleting my accounts in social networking sites. I left my phone unattended. The phone that brought me messages of Bob (August 5) and Sean's (August 6) passing. My brothers. Both warriors in their own silent ways.


We were supposed to celebrate Eme's birthday last August 6. Instead, we just stayed at home and drowned our thoughts in three liters of Coke.


I'm trying to get things back to normal. It's not easy. 


I guess writing about what I feel is a start.

Breaking My Rules

com•mit'•ment, noun

1.  a pledge or promise. 2. the act of committing. 3. the state of being committed.

Participating in voluntary social and community work is not foreign to me. The company I worked with fostered in us the value of taking an active role in making a difference in the communities where we work and live. So we would regularly reach out to and form relationships with nonprofit organizations, civic groups, educational institutions, and local governments representing the diverse nature of these communities. 


But every time I sign up, I make sure that the tasks assigned to me would be those that do not require me to interact directly with anybody. Running for a cause, tree-planting, house-building, and cleaning up the bay are perfect for me. Grunt work, yes, but it also means I do not have to talk to strangers. Or entertain them. Or exchange stories with them. 


This could be because I cannot tolerate mediocrity - I expect the best from the people around me. Or because I am not comfortable with weak and vulnerable people - I wouldn't know how to act around them. 


I knew, however, that I am about to break this rule of mine. 


I have, after all, committed myself to the Chasters' Voice of Love.


So before the event, I did my research in order to at least have an idea what to expect and what is expected from me. I became fast friends with Mr. Google and Ms. YouTube. Dapithapon, GMA NewsTV Channel 11 Reel Time's five-part documentary on the struggles of the Filipino elderly, opened my eyes and tugged at my heartstrings for days that I could not even string a few sentences together to blog about it. Now I can.

Last Sunday, I finally went to Golden Acres with the commitment to make a difference.


I vowed not to cry.

The Little Flag Bearer

Janela Lelis (12 years old), younger sister of a CAT Colors Officer, carries the Philippine flag to higher ground while Typhoon Juaning rages on. (Photo courtesy of Frank Pena Lorzano)

Patriotism in the midst of typhoons and floods. 

Mabuhay ang watawat ng Pilipinas! 

Mabuhay ka Binibining Lelis at maraming salamat.